Today I am bound for the Home Owners Exhibition at the Queen Elizabeth II centre with hopes of learning more about this Shared Ownership thing which promises to be my only realistic means of getting onto the property ladder.
I am far, FAR away from being in a place to actually make any investments yet. But it doesn't hurt to know what goal to aim for.
The exhibition is well signposted and easily identifiable upon arrival. Guards are situated throughout to point you in the right direction and keep the crowds well distributed. It is well organised. I am given a sticky label name tag and 'goodybag' of leaflets and information in exchange for my ticket (it was free, but booking was mandatory) I am then pointed in the direction of the lifts, which take me upstairs to rampant chaos.
It's Hell. I am in Hell. There are people EVERYWHERE and my social confidence goes whimpering into the back of my brain and takes any semblance I had of a plan with it. For a few minutes I wander backwards and forwards over the same patch of carpet like Wile Coyote concocting a plan to catch that dastardly Roadrunner once and for all before I force myself in the direction of the L&Q kiosk. They are the presiding Housing Association in my area. I talk to a representative for a while who transpires to be very nice and very helpful and very willing to answer any questions I have if I just knew enough to know what to ask. Ultimately I pick up a bunch of leaflets that confirm I can't afford to leave my parents house EVER then proceed to the next room where I find an 'Ask The Experts' kiosk. A session will be commencing upstairs in 30 minutes. It's a 45 minute talk that starts 15 minutes before my companion is set to arrive, so I arrange for him to meet me on the same floor and bag a seat closest to the door with a view to making an early exit.
4 people are scheduled to talk. I get to hear 2 of them and fortunately it is enough to give me a basis of knowledge.
The crux is that for Shared Ownership I only need a 5% deposit on the retail value of the property and to take out a mortgage of a minimum of 25% and a maximum of 75% while paying a subsidised rent on the remainder of the property.
Before attending this event I had read in various sources that I need a minimum of £5000 to start proceedings - solicitors etc etc. I assume this does not include the 5% deposit which on even the cheapest properties currently starts at around £7000, so frankly looking at anything with anything less than £12k in my pocket is probably pushing my luck.
As the man on the podium continues to speak I find myself inadvertently searching my pockets for spare change and find only my Pokemon Go Plus badge (Shh. I'm not harming anyone)
Movement catches my eye through the window of the door to my side and I see Jake glancing in and waving hello before unobtrusively disappearing to take a seat in the next room. When I sneak out to meet him he offers to wait while I finish listening, but it sounds like mostly a repeat of the same information anyway. I have what I need as a starting point. And now Jake's here, he is my priority.
We fell out the last time we met. This friendship looked set to end here on this pre-arranged event for a while. Today it might still happen, but neither of us are hostile people and pleasantries are exchanged as usual.
We proceed to the nearest pub where I take out my notebook and share with Jake what I have learnt from the day. He searches Help to Buy on his mobile and confirms that it's essentially 'free money' towards a home if I have set up one of those accounts (I have! But no money is in it!) He also assures me that £5000 would be an exorbitant fee for solicitors (They are Solicitors, not Lawyers) so hopefully the initially mentioned £5000 might be the 5% deposit on a (admittedly frighteningly cheap and not worth living in) property.I scribble down a makeshift monthly budget and Jake steps in and shuffles it so that I don't wind up clinically dead by November. He also imparts that paying off a mortgage is usually cheaper than paying rent, which is super interesting to know.
Two drinks later he has to leave to meet his other half. It's unusual for us to cut our plans so short but I am simply content for having things end well. We push to a third drink and move out of 'Homebuying territory' to cover a quick catch-up on less formal issues then part ways with a hug and a mutual reassurance that we will meet again. When I tell him that I am glad I don't have to burn his house and everyone in it while they are sleeping he doesn't look as relieved as I thought he would.
My buddy's back.
And I'm going to go and get me a home (I fish my Pokemon Go badge out of my otherwise empty pockets) ... Someday!
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